There was an annual awards show in Ottawa today, but unlike the Oscars, being nominated for this distinction was far from an honour. As handed out by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation (CTF), the Teddy Waste Awards recognize dubious use of public money by civil servants, politicians, and government departments.
This is the 12th time the Teddies (which are named after Ted Weatherill, a federal bureaucrat fired in 1999 for making expense claims that were outlandish even by government standards) have been awarded. The CTF marked the occasion with a splashy press conference on Parliament Hill.
A tuxedo-wearing Colin Craig, CTF Prairie director, served as Master of Ceremonies for the glamorous event, flanked by beautiful guest hostess Natasha and “Porky the Waste Hater”—a mascot in a pig suit.
Nominated for “Best effects on the silver smokescreen,” federal officials in the Public Works department were recognized for cleverly selling off silver and china antiques from the Governor General’s residence that actually belonged to Buckingham Palace. Public Works sold the antiques for less than four grand then had to buy them back, at nearly $100,000 after discovering said items were on loan from the UK. Woops.
The Peguis Band Council of Manitoba was nominated for “best adapted scam play,” after it came to light that band councilors paid themselves the equivalent of $265,000 - $429,000 a year—despite only having 7,200 people on their reserve. “If the Prime Minster of Canada earned as much for each person he represented as one such councilor, then he would rake in $2 billion per year,” noted the CTF.
Winning the actual award for best achievement in federal government waste were Members of Parliament for their junk mailer program. The cost of this program, under which MPs can send flyers to households in any riding, has risen from $5.9 million in 2005 - 2006 to $10 million in 2008 - 2009. “Oddly enough, as our deficit skyrocketed, MPs hiked up their usage of these flyers to tell us about everything but the deficit,” stated Craig at the CTF press conference.
Other awards went to Nova Scotia MLAs for extreme expense budget abuse (with one MLA expensing 11 computers, 12 printers, five digital cameras, four video cameras, three iPods and the Xbox game Dance Dance Revolution over a three-year period) and the City of Toronto for paying people $100 to pretend to be homeless as part of a street audit of homeless people.
In one of the breathtaking highlights of the awards presentation, the Lifetime Achievement Teddy went to gold-played MP pensions. Arguably one of the most generous pension plans in the entire country, MPs are eligible to receive a minimum pension of $46,000 after a mere decade of service.
Sadly, despite all the glitz and hoopla, the actual winners of the Teddy Waste Awards were not on hand to receive their well-earned honours. Craig, Natasha and "Porky the Waste Hater" more than made up for the absence of any nominees, however, through their enthusiastic recognition of high achievement in government waste.
Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fleur-design/
